Post Partum ... as defined by ... ME (and other stuff)

I've figured it out. Not how to fix it but why it exists and why certain people get it and others don't. So - take a peek.

I've heard it frequently lately. Nine months up, nine months down. SweeTart is 5 months old in a few days. I'm well on my way to going "down". Not all the bumps and rolls are in the right spots (reason #1) and my boobs are at my knees (reason #2 for post partum). There are times when I'm exhausted for no reason at all, and others when I can't sleep. (like tonight - reason #3) This is especially annoying when she sleeps all night but I do not. Reason #4: I'm 35 and bald. You think its not so bad but really, if i don't cover up the holes in my head, you will notice and you'll do your best to try to look away but it's awful. Dreadful. So - I just do what I do best, pull it back and show it all off. Bald spots and all.

Tomorrow starts my "official" start of going back to work full time. Yay. (Reason #5 - not that I get much of anything done at home but it sure is fun playing with the baby and watching the other two engrossed by their Webkinz games.) I still want to nurse the baby. It's convenient. It's inexpensive. At times, when we're alone, it's soothing. To both of us. It may be the one thread I have still attached to being sane. With the students coming back to the building on Wednesday or Thursday, I have a feeling I won't be able to pump once a day as I've been doing throughout the summer. Do I wake her before I leave in the morning to nurse her or just wait until when I come home? Wait, it can't be when I come home - the kids need to fed then rushed out the door to soccer practice. It will have to wait until bedtime, which is generally before the kids are finished with soccer practice. Egh. (Having to make decisions like this: Reason #6.) The alternative of nursing, food and formula. Yech. I got my first "gagging" diaper today. If I could avoid these types of BM's, I'd nurse her til she's old enough to wipe her own butt. GROSS!

Someone really must have had a good time trying to figure out how to mess with women even more than having them deal with morning sickness, prenatal vitamins (made me want to puke all the time!), labor, birth, recovery, and post-partum. I know, complain, complain, complain.

I just can't help it. I spent today ... let's see: feeding the baby, changing and bathing the baby, packing pieces of the kitchen, packing again (not that you can even tell I made a dent in it at all), helping the kids on Webkinz, running to the grocery store for apple juice and coffeemate (this morning I didn't have coffee until after 10 ~ I was not a pleasant camper!) Still not really complaining ... okay, maybe about the kitchen part.

It will be beautiful. Everything that the husband plans turns out beautiful. Everything. Its just a pain in the butt to rearrange everything to get it to where it needs to be for demolition then construction. The cabinets are scheduled to arrive Thursday. I'm not quite sure when the carpenters will be able to install them. Then we need to get the countertop and appliances. And I am allowed to order all new dishes and glasses. I just got new pots and pans and I cannot part with them. I'm having a hard time parting with my dishes already. I've got them all packed up into a tote. The tote has wheels but its so heavy it won't move. And, its not all of them. I probably have another whole tote to go. Should I sell them? Donate them? Another perplexing moment in my life. I am going with putting them in the shed for now and selling them later. Maybe someone can use them for their beach house or something (Or ... maybe I'll get a beach house! Hahahahahaha - thought that would make you laugh!)

Enough whining. Jimmy Buffett should be playing tunes while you're readng this extra, extra long post. At least you can relax and pretend you're on the beach sipping a fruity drink while listening to me whine!! If you don't hear music and your speakers are on, let me know so I can figure out how to fix it. It was a major project for me to figure out how to put that together tonight. I've got my fingers crossed that it will work!

I'm going to try to go to sleep now. Hopefully soon. I have to be at the office tomorrow no later than 7:30. That I am not looking forward to ... nor the rest of the day. Oh well. It will get better. I will get back into the swing of things. It won't kill me and I will continue to lose the baby weight for JAMAICA in April to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary! Yahoo!