Wednesday, September 11, 2013

A Day of Remembrance and Reflection

Last night, our son, who is in 7th grade, had two social studies homework assignments.  One was to talk to us, his parents, about what we were doing and thinking when the 9/11 terrorist attacks took place.  The other was to watch President Obama talk about what action the US will or will not take against Syria, who is using chemical weapons against it's own people.

Do you remember where you were on 9/11/2001?  What you were doing, what you were thinking?  I was home on maternity leave.  Our son was six weeks old.  I was watching Good Morning America when they interrupted their programming to give word that "something" had happened to one of the world trade centers.  They weren't quite clear on exactly what had happened but we watched it unfold together.  Me and my friends on GMA. 

I called my husband.  I called my mom.  I called anyone who would listen at that point to see if they saw what happened.  I hugged my infant son even tighter than usual.  We found out that one of our friends - my sister in law's sister - who is an airline attendant was on a flight, out of Newark, bound for California.  How scary!  It was hours before she was able to contact her family to let them know she was okay.  She, however, was stuck in CA for a bit until the air travel restriction was lifted. 

I remember being tuned in to the television at all times for the next few days - they were still finding survivors in the rubbles.  I remember the pleading families who had loved ones who couldn't be found.  I remember the waves of emergency personnel from all over the country flooding into New York City.  I remember what a sad time it was for our nation. 

Although we are 12 years from when this tragedy occurred, our hearts are still hurting from the day.   We still have memorials being designed and installed to honor the men and women who not only lost their lives as a direct impact of the 9/11 attacks but to honor service men and women and police as well.  My husband's company, Beechwood Landscape, was an integral part of a local 9/11 memorial.  Beechwood Landscape Fallen Hereos Memorial in Shamong, NJ  No matter how many years have passed, it was a wonderful ribbon cutting ceremony for this memorial - no one in this small community forgets.   

9/11/2001 - a day that will live in our hearts forever.  I will never forget. 

Saturday, September 7, 2013

I think

that this is going to take longer than I thought.  Longer to pull myself together, longer to accept the fact that there will never be any answers for why God let this happen to our family. 

Darby should be posing for a photo today for my scrapbook with one of those funny "Five Months Old" stickers on her chest, giggling for us.  All I can think is thank goodness I couldn't decide on ordering ones with her name on them or with a different princess picture for each month.  What would I have done if I had to get rid of those too? Thank goodness I am indecisive. 

Today we spent the morning at the soccer fields.  First with Sweetart's "munchkin" group then with Twink's 5th and 6th grade team.  We were initially late because the girls in our house decided to have meltdowns about a few different things and we just couldn't get out of the door.  Then Sweetart fell and skinned her knee when we were not even 5 yards from the van.  We were one of the last families to get our uniform.  We missed the introduction which told us who the "red" coach was for the day and where she was practicing.  We followed the chaos a little bit until I saw a group of "reds" moving towards the left of the fields.  We parked our butts by the fence so that we could watch the entire practice.

A woman with a little boy in a stroller parked about 10 feet from me.  I couldn't even look at her and   I certainly couldn't look at the baby in the stroller.  How much longer is this going to happen?  It took me until after the entire practice was over  to look at the woman in her face.  I knew her!!  I felt so rude, so betrayed by my own emotions.  All I could say was "how's it going" when we walked by her leaving. 

It never occurred to me that munchkin soccer would have so many babies.  How we are at the "old" end of the age spectrum for munchkins.  Sweetart is our youngest one playing sports.  I drag the older kids with me to her practice.  There are families who are still young and their munchkin might be their oldest ... and they bring the babies with them.  How am I going to get through this season? 

On a happier note, Sweetart almost gave up 3/4 into the practice but she sucked it up and played the rest of the time so that she could get her snack afterwards.  (That's my girl!)  And Twink's team tied - 2-2.  Last night, the Boy's travel baseball team won their game by one.   It's all good.  I just need to embrace that goodness today.