It's been almost a year since I last posted. I remember exactly why I stopped posting - and I regret it more than you can even imagine.
Seems around the 1st week in September, I found myself pregnant. At 39. While I am happily married with three other kidlets, an unexpected pregnancy took me by complete surprise. You see, I was on the pill. I became the .01% of women who become pregnant while taking the pill.
It took me a while to come to terms with another baby coming but I was happy - we did all kinds of testing to ensure she was healthy. (Get that? We found out we were having another girl - which worked out perfectly since our new house only had enough bedrooms for the three children we had - Sweetart could share her room with the new beebster.) I was once again diagnosed with gestational diabetes, very early on. I was able to keep it in check by eating healthy.
Our expected due date was my Poppop's birthday, May 15, 2013. One day after my 40th birthday. All systems were go. All was going well ...
until the fated day ... April 7, 2013. Darby Grace was born into this world a sleeping angel at 35 weeks gestation. Her (my) placenta had abrupted - I bled internally, no outward signs of any problems. Until we got to the hospital and the doctor couldn't find her little teeny heartbeat. Tim and I were - still are - devastated.
It is my hope that by starting my blog back up, I can make some kind of sense of this heartache. Have a place to vent and find my new normal. I thought it was hard to wrap my head around bringing a new baby home; I have found that it is even harder, much harder, to wrap my head around the fact that our new baby is in Heaven.